Daytime Meeting New Anxieties*

Today is one of those days where it’s Friday, nobody responds to emails, and all that jazz. It’s like, my inbox is just sitting there, untouched. This week was full of highs and lows, and that’s about as personal as it’s gonna get. (A huge rule for TIA: This is WordPress, not LiveJournal. No one over the age of 16 should have the latter anyway.) Continuing: The only frustration in my life that I will discuss in public is the creative process and feeling stifled. Like I have to make myself write this just so I get something out there. It has to happen. And yeah, it causes a fair amount of anxiety. I need to be doing something so I don’t go totally nuts. And even when I’m doing stuff I can’t share it, because I think it’s shit or hurtful or both. One time not too long ago I was up all night and started writing at six in the morning about everyone I’ve encountered from roughly the ages of 5 to 18 that pissed me off. It was pretty venomous, but it was pretty good too. (One of the themes is terrible skin and I compared one girl to Ann Coulter. That’s about as insulting as it gets.) I can’t share that because I used people’s real names and maybe I’ll do the Mark Twain thing and stipulate in my will to have it published 100 years after my death. Technology can work against you, especially on social networking sites. My first commandment of the internet: Thou shalt not put online what you wouldn’t put on the front page of The New York Times. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this rule before. Yes, you can’t control everything that gets put on Facebook (Hi underage drinking photos! Please disappear!), but there’s more control than a lot of people believe. It’s amazing how people (college graduates no less!) will openly talk shit about others and think it’s private. It’s not and it’s your own damn fault. For those wondering: I barely Facebook stalk anymore – I mean, everyone does it but it gets boring very quickly. Music is so much better for venting anyway!

Part of me is afraid to post this, but it’s totally honest if a bit vague, and that’s the only thing you can ask for from a creative type.

(*This is totally plagiarized: The original lyric goes “Nighttime meeting new anxieties.”)